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Lately I have been getting a bit angry at the Christian community for their behavior. But not too long ago I was part of that community, in a sense. I thought like them, tried to act like them & spoke the same as them – the good & the hate. I admit I still think a bit like them in some ways but I recognize some of the dysfunctional thinking and trying to correct it.

When I belonged to a church down south, I love to sing every Sunday. I was my way of having that special time with God. Now the church I belonged to had a mixed of everyone – rich, poor, drug addicts etc. I liked that – to me it was how it was to be. I mean – Jesus cared for the prostitute as well! No one cared – you were there to worship God.

But something happened along the way. My cousin was very involved with the church music program, and though I was not part of the Sunday singers, I was able to sing almost every other Sunday as a “special”. During this time I met a wonderful man, who later turned out to become my husband. He was of a different faith, which I did not care because I was strong with mine. God gave us free will  that is what I was taught & so it was his choice for eternal damnation for not believing in Christ. :) He would occasionally come to church with me to hear me sing but did not believe at all in my path.  He was a good man!

He ended up moving in with me due to the fact that he & his roommates were evicted when the landlord sold their apartment bldg. Not having anywhere to go, he came with me. This did not go over well with my cousin – who never asked about my living arrangement, only saw a piece of his mail on my kitchen table. 2 weeks after that he took me aside and told me that since my boyfriend was living with me, I could not sing at church anymore because I was to be a role model and living in sin was a no-no. I was devastated! I mean – the joy I felt singing to my God – I cannot describe it. And it was gone. Meanwhile – other members in the band had their indiscretions (teenage pregnancy for one)  but I was chosen to be the example.

I never went back to church after that. I was humiliated. In this day & age – the scarlet letter was applied to me. Years later – my cousin would leave that same church because it became a bit too radical. My husband stated it right – “All of that belief he had, all of that stuff he did to you in the name of his belief. It means nothing now. It was all a joke.” And it’s true. To do that to a family memeber, to crush her spirit & then to walk away should be a sin itself.

But it happens all the time in Christianity – just look around. I mean, they picket in front of HIV clinics, abortion clinics condemning those inside. These are the people that need love the most. Honestly – do you think that all women want to have an abortion? Do you really think they make this decision on the fly – NO!! It is something that they will live with forever. They need understanding & compassion not anger. Do you think that gay man who walk out of the clinic with his positive HIV test needs to hear how he is going to hell for being a homosexual? NO – he needs love & compassion for his world just fell apart. I get so tired of reading the Bible verses on twitter or Facebook from people & then 3 posts later they talk about how they got trashed the other night or post a questionable photo. Or I personally know how they are in person – mean people.

It’s funny, I was once told, from a Christian, that sin is sin in God’s eyes. Each time a Christian condemns someone for their lifestyle choice they are committing a sin – God is the only person who can judge sin. But they do not seem to see it that way.

Now, I am not Christian hating here, though it may seem like it. I respect those that have their beliefs as long as it does not impede mine. I get very frustrated with the singular view many have. I am ashamed that I was like that and sometime still am. I am growing, slowly but surely.

Reading Challenges 2012

I love reading challenges. I love to read! But unfortunately I find other ways to waste my precious time. Which is why I love the challanges, it keeps me accountable. So I have a joined a few which are pagan centered as well as a Goodreads listing which will cover my other readings. So, here are my pagan/pangan-y/supernatural type books that I am hoping to finish by the end of the year!

  1. Aradia
  2. The Secret Commonwealth
  3. The Fairy-faith in Celtic countries
  4. Myth & Legens of Ancient Greece & Rome
  5. Bulfinch’s Mythology
  6. Fairy tales every child should know
  7. Celtic Tales, told to the children
  8. Sword of Truth
  9. Spun by Sorcery (read)
  10. Spells & Stiches (read)
  11. The Hobbit (beofre the movie is out!)
  12. The Hunger Games (before the movie is out)
  13. 55 ways to mediate
  14. Helpful herbs for health & beauty
  15. Gifts for the Goddess on a Cold Winter’s Eve
  16. Gifts for the Goddess on a Warm Spring Morn
  17. The Soulkeepers (read)
  18. Wicca for Beginners
  19. Deadlocked (Sookie Stackhouse #12)
  20. Magyk
  21. Against the Light

I have other books that I am reading along with these so it will be a fun year!!

I have such high hopes with a blog. I think I am actually going to keep up with it though I always fall short. Hopefully 2012 will be the year i can get the hang of it.

I have tons of “resolutions” that I would like to attain this year. Yes – alot of the old ones…..lose weight, exercise more blah bah. But also some new ones. The past 10 years or so I have kept the same old resolutions & honestly without success. This year I am goin g to mix it up & add some diofferent ones. Among them – make things in my life more simple. Streamline how I do things & have LESS things. Save more money – hopefullt this will happen when I do the previous (have less things). And read more. I recevied a Kindle (hand me down) & we bought a Fire as a family gift. Both are so awesome – I love reading from a Kindle! So I have created a goal to read 40 books this year & so far I am on track. Finished 1 already!! I know – when I get a good book I can breeze through it.

Another one of my goals is to deepen my understanding of Paganism. A few of the books I have on my list will cover this also. Any ideas are welcome!!

Well… untl next time!!

Great giveaway!!

Mrs. B is back….thank goodness! Since I began making the transition, if that is what you can call it, her blog was one of the first I began to read. And love it!!

 

She is having a great giveaway!! Stop by & check it out!! She is giving away a great book called “Old World Witchcraft”.

http://www.confessionsofapagansoccermom.com/2011/10/giveaway-old-world-witchcraft-by-raven.html

Well I am going to have my first ritual tomorrow. I will have the house to myself in the morning so I will be able to have complete focus. I need to write all my things down today & it will be a go!!  I have to admit, I am quite nervous. Afraid of doing it all wrong. It will primarily be a ritual of cleansing. Any tips would be well appreciated.

 

Presently I am reading various texts. My ADD is in high gear since I can’t seem to get a fix on one to read. (Would be helpful if I actaully had a diagnosis for it though…..)

Anyways – As I am learning about the holidays – Lesser & Greater ones. I am saddened to see that Christianity copied so much. And felt that it needed to hijack a belief system to create theirs. Easter – Ostera….really?? Easter is a complete copy!! And Yule…. I knew Christ was not born in December & why I never questioned this then I so not know. but to move the important date of you Savior’s birthday just to obliterate another religion is blasphemy to me. It takes away whatever significance you have for you God.

 

This is just a rant for today…..I have so much more reading and I am sure there will be more disbelief.

So here I am wondering if I have ADD. I start one book then find that another may be more helpful so I drop what I am reading & move to another. *sigh* It is a nightmare. Presently I am reading…. now don’t laugh…. “Idiots Guide to Wicca & Witchcraft”. I am finding it quite helpful. But there are so many questions I have. Like do I have to cast a circle everyday for small, little spells? On the average how long does casting a circle take? Please do not get me wrong, I am not one to rush my devotion but what’s a girl to do when she’s hiding in the closet??

I have actually begun writing in my Book of Shadows!! Or is it my Grimoire?? Not sure which one is more appropriate. I mean – I have a basic idea of what goes into each but still need clarification. I need to find more time to devote to my studies, this is my most difficult task. I am afraid that I am not as serious as I wish to be. I think I need to meditate on this & draw the strength I need to focus.

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